One side of a future overheard conversation:

. . . well, nothing but problems today.
You see, we left the old operating system
outside in the rain with the windows rolled down,
so now everything is wet and clammy,
and all the programs have engaged,
and everything that could be
is.

We really hope to have the whole thing fixed
by the time the FedEx guy gets here
later this afternoon.
What good is having anything
if everything
is always
on?